Your Existing Situation Working to improve her image in the eyes of others in order to obtain their compliance and agreement with her needs and wishes. (my ass - or does this mean I'm twisting people so I can dominate the world? I sure as hell don't want to improve myself to make others like me. I want to be myself and be liked, damnit. If they don't like me, their loss, not mine.) Your Stress Sources Unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension. Needs to feel secure and to avoid any further disappointment, and fears being passed over or losing standings and prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads her to make exaggerated demands and to refuse to make reasonable compromises. (This sounds more like it, doesn't it Courtney? Ack.. I'm a snide, bitter bitch. I love me. Muah.) Your Restrained Characteristics Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but is inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents her from becoming deeply involved. Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being. (um? Sexual activity? I'll have you know I'm more of a virgin than Mary herself!) Your Desired Objective Unwilling to participate and wishes to avoid all forms of stimulation. Has had to put up with too much of a tiring or exhausting nature and now desires protection and noninvolvement (What the hell? Avoid all forms of stimulation? Yeah right!) Your Actual Problem Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She tries to escape from this by withdrawing and protecting herself with an attitude of cautious reserve. Moody and depressed. (This sounds a little more right.. mhm) Anyways.. at work today, I vowed I would do all my work first thing in the morning and spend the afternoon trying to get a tan on my legs. Well, I didn't do any work, and meandered out around eleven in the morning to where the boys were staining boards, and lay down in the soft cooshy grass and didn't wake up until Kyle woke me up. Final Prognosis - I have a burn on my face (my mom's pissed about that cause I'm like 89% more likely to get skin cancer on my face than any other person or something), my shoulders, my chest, the tops of my feet and on my thighs. Beautiful. Oh well - hopefully it won't peel or blister or anything gross (-insert grossed out face here-), and will fade out into a nice, even, pretty tan for when j.Lo. and I go to the fair with the boys. -sighs hopefully-. I wanted to ride the stallion tonight (after waking up from crashing for two, almost three hours), but Christy came and rode him, and I promised I would not put any more riding on the four year old mare until her feet got done. The farrier is coming on Saturday, unfortunately, while I am gone getting my permit :P Blech. I haven't studied hardly at all. I will tomorrow morning before the kids get there. If I have to, I'll sneak away to study from that stupid little book - it's just.. sooo boring. But I can't fail because I've never failed anything important like this before. And besides, I'm cool. Way cool. Too cool for you. Nyah nyah.
Disclaimer: These are my personal thoughts, emotions and opinions -- they are not intended to offend or aggress upon anyone. Likewise, though I do appreciate a constructively critical comment on occasion, I prefer non-hateful and thoughtful comments with respect to myself. I shouldn't have any problems with that though, we're all grown ups here, right? Please note that any offensive, aggressive and anonymous comments will be deleted from my comments, notes and guestbook, as I like knowing that the rest of my readership doesn't have to read that trash. Also, the HTML on this design has been designed solely by myself, Amanda Neal, and song lyrics are from the song "Wild Horses" by Natasha Bedingfield.
Wednesday, July 24, 2002 ~ 11:27 p.m.
